Bastards, Bitches. Just a part of life.

Sun, 24 Jun 2007 20:54:00 GMT

Changed link to doorwayman.livejournal.com (:

Add me there and comment me aite?

Mon, 11 Jun 2007 05:08:17 GMT

Sun, 10 Jun 2007 11:37:22 GMT

NOT GETTING THE FOOD I WANT WILL MAKE ME GO INTO A EXTREMELY BAD MOOD.

Which is what I'm in now.

Fri, 08 Jun 2007 13:34:16 GMT

Ohmygosh. I'm addicted to my Tom&Jerry pencilbox. It's super CUTE. Write me post-its to put on my pencilbox? Pretty please with whipped cream and a cherry on top? [:

Thu, 07 Jun 2007 13:25:52 GMT

I suddenly feel like putting my random thoughts to html, and i have no idea why. But i guess it shall be done, and you guys have the option of reading it through. It's all up to you.

The Fray-How To Save A Life.
That song really explains alot. It's really in-depth, cause it explains all about life. Just shows that life isn't always happy-go-lucky all the time. There's times where, you'll just have to let go all the emotions, especially all the sad emotions. Otherwise, you'll burst. There's a line, that says alot. "Where did i go wrong?" Shows that it's not all about happy life all the time, there's sometimes sad times as well, and just sometimes that you don't know what the hell you did wrong. People go against you, for no right reasons. And the best thing is, they don't even tell you or show you the reason why they're going against you.
Sometimes, i don't think there's any reason for us to trust the people around us. Cause we never know if they'll backstab us when we won't ever suspect it. Then we'll be the ones that suffering, and we have no one to turn to. And when that happens, we'll be all alone. We won't have anyone, no one to turn to, no one to ask for help. We can't turn to our parents, because they'll scold us for trusting our friends too much, and we can't turn to our friends because they'll either be siding the other person, or they won't know a thing, or they'll just don't care. Then what can you do? No one.

Thu, 07 Jun 2007 11:54:06 GMT

Ooh i just realised i haven't been upating for super long. Pirates is funny shit! So cute... And really sweet as well. And there's gonna be a POTC 4!! Omg yay yay yay! Hahaha like HURRAY!

Got this T&J pencilbox today. Hee (: Super nice.

Yay me i got nothing to update.

Sat, 02 Jun 2007 10:21:17 GMT

Ahaha. Today is love. [:

i have changed my smileys to this [:

Heh.

Okay anyways, went out with mark today, stoned at starbucks for about an hour. Then went over to popular, where i found myself something very amusing to do. whack mark's stomach! haha. i like the reaction. xD then went over to yamaha, where i found out that he knows NOTHING at all about band instruments. he thought a tuba was cheaper than a clarinet. -_-|| how impossible can that be? zzz.

Mark left to meet his friends, then i met a very very VERY [insane] senior. s: she was, panicky. to say the least. all because, she went to fill the DSA application form. then she had to go for an audition, which was a solo. and since she's in percussion, or rather, was, she has to find a solo piece to play. no actually 2 solo pieces. [haha!] [:

Oli and ahpa are slow little snails. they take FOREVER to come to TM la. zzz. oh wells. cabbed to my place, they were in a frenzy about the cats mad i swear. then went to train-ed to bedok inter. bus-ed to tampines ikea, and went mad. we bought lunch, and we were laughing like hell throughout lunch. it was madness. then we took the trolley. funny scene 1.

me and ahpa[jaslynn] : EH THE STUPID TROLLEY DON'T WANT COME OUT! [tugtugtug.]
jeanette : i got one already. [gives us the -______-|| face]
oli :[bursts out laughing]

oh well. then trollied around for a while. then i ZOOMED to the SMALL TINY CONTAINERS section. and they were behind. funny scene 2.

me: [stone at pen holders]
jeanette: EH WHERE'S ADEL?
oli:OH YA! where she ah??
ahpa, oli, jeanette:[turns] OH THERE!
me:[listening the whole time.]
all: [laughes like siao]

zzzz la percussionists so blur. then went around. oli decided to get into the trolley. funny scene 3.

oli:EH I WANNA GET IN!
ahpa, jeanette, me:GET IN LA!
oli:okay okay getting in! [lifts leg] eh shit la.
jeanette:HURRY UP LA.
oli:not easy to get in you know! [tries again]
ahpa:......................................
oli: [lands with a plop] OW!
jeanette, ahpa, me: HAHAHA!

oh wells madness of the percussionists yes?

go around for a while then oli don't wanna stay inside, but we decided not to let her out. funny scene 4.

ahpa: eh i control the trolley.
me: [hands trolley over]
ahpa: [ZOOMS AWAY WITH THE TROLLEY AND OLI IN IT.]
jeanette: [turns away from boxes] eh where oli and ahpa go?
me: [points]
oli: [screaming like a maniac]

hahahaha. okay part of that was fake. but basically, ahpa zoomed with the trolley and oli. and jeanette didn't know until she realised that oli and ahpa wasn't there. -_-"

so FINALLY made it to the self-service section. then we found the shelf, and went mad once again. choosing the colours for the boxes and everything. ah well. funny scene 5.

jeanette, ahpa : [tugtugtug] STUPID BOX NOT COMING OUT!
me: [stones at the trolley and watches them]
oli: [walks over and takes a box from beside them.] got already la.
jeanette, ahpa: [STONE]
all: [STARTS LAUGHING LIKE MAD SHIT.]

ah well xD i love percussion. hahahaha.

okay this has been a super long post yes? [:

loveisblind. [:

Thu, 31 May 2007 07:24:14 GMT

i already feel that the section's falling.
the juniors ain't listening,
i'm getting attitude from everywhere.
i'm sorry lisbeth.
i'm sorry eunice.
i'm sorry mel.
i'm sorry jeanette.
i'm sorry wingyan.
~~i failed.~~

Wed, 30 May 2007 11:13:21 GMT

SCREW UPS. MY PHONE IS SCREWED. BLOODY HELL. RAWR.

Mon, 28 May 2007 13:24:00 GMT

Yay. i have my own private journal, which shall be used for my INNERMOST thoughts. yep. it won't be found and even if it's found, it can't be read. It's PRIVATE. (:

tell me tell me what makes you think that you are invicible;
i can see it in your eyes, that you're so sure.
please don't tell me that i'm the only one that's vulnerable,
impossible...

xD

Sun, 27 May 2007 14:34:41 GMT

Weird day today. Gosh. Found this really nice song.

Secondhand Serenade-Vulnerable

http://funkayholisticstuff.imeem.com/playlist/V8spEznl/

Share with me the blankets that your wrapped in
because its cold outside cold outside its cold out side
share with me the secrets that you kept in
because its cold inside cold inside its cold inside

and your slowly shaking finger tips
show that your scared like me so
let pretend were alone
and I know you may be scared
and I know were unprepared
but I don't care

tell me tell me
what makes you think that you are invincible
I can see it in your eyes that your so sure
please don't tell me that I am the only one that's vulnerable
impossible

I was born to tell you I love you
isn't that a song already
I get a B in originality
and its true I cant go on without you
your smile makes me see clearer
if you could only see in the mirror what I see

[ Vulnerable lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com ]
and your slowly shaking finger tips
show that your scared like me so
let pretend were alone
and I know you may be scared
and I know were unprepared
but I don't care

tell me tell me
what makes you think that you are invincible
I can see it in your eyes that your so sure
please don't tell me that I am the only one that's vulnerable
impossible

slow down girl your not going anywhere
just wait around and see
maybe I am much more you never no what lies ahead
I promise I can be anyone I can be anything
just because you were hurt doesn't mean you shouldn't bleed
I can be anyone anything I promise I can be what you need

tell me tell me
what makes you think that you are invincible
I can see it in your eyes that your so sure
please don't tell me that I am the only one that's vulnerable
impossible

iloveyou.

Fri, 25 May 2007 18:31:29 GMT

How screwed up can i get. Or rather, how screwed up can my mom get. She made herself sound like she's not the one to blame, that I'M the one that never listens to her for anything, and all that crap. Oh please. You think you're OH-SO-GREAT and everything, then you wonder why i'm your daughter and all that shit. Don't give me this type of bullshit. You're a mother. What you do, will be reflected in your kid. You want your kid to lose her temper at every tiny thing, and completely embarass you in front of everyone you know? If you want that to happen, then SO BE IT.

You don't give me the respect that you want, so how do you expect me to give you the respect that you feel you MUST have? Show me MY respect before i show you yours. I respect a lot of people, including daddy, but you, i won't respect. I respect daddy because he respects me. He knows his limits. YOU don't. Get that?

Fri, 25 May 2007 07:59:15 GMT

I really need you in my life;
No matter what i have to do.

That's just a song lyric. Really nice too. Kinda really explains my thoughts. But then, maybe it's just me. I don't know. I just feel that there's some things in life, that is really just wasted. Like it's of no use. It's gone when it shouldn't be. Those kinds of things. But there's some things that should be let go, let it be released. Don't try holding on, because it's just not worth it. It justs give you tremendous heartpain, and then you'll have a lot of problems popping out of nowhere. That ain't something that's good, especially at your age, cos' you still got your studies to care for. You've gotta learn to cope with your studies, not just these type of occasional stuffs that can make you depressed in a heartbeat. It might seem to be worth it to you, but it really isnt. In fact, it's just a pure waste of time. That much i've learnt. What's the point of getting depressed because of something that happened in the past? It's not like you can go back in time and change anything. There's no use for that. Using that time for other matters like your studies and all is better, and especially with your friends.
Friends will be there for you, no matter what you think. It's just a matter of knowing who's your true friends, those you can talk to. There are people like that out there in the world, you just have to find it. It's not impossible entirely. All you have to do is look, and friends that you didn't know were your friends will start appearing out of nowhere. And you realise that you can trust them after a period of time, you can actually depend on them, when you think you have no one to depend on in your life, you actually forget that, that certain person is actually there right in front of you all along, waiting to let them help you. But you don't want to let them, instead preferring to wallow in your own sorrow.
Slowly, everyone that's there for you, will start drifting away. All because you don't want to let them help you. They start to feel that it's hopeless to try, and then your relationship level with them starts to go down, and they start to drift away, drift to others, they won't be there for you. All because you don't want to let them to. But sometimes, you'll have a certain friend or two, who'll stay there for you. But you start believing that they, too, are collaborating against you for some unknown reason, and then you'll go against them. It'll hurt them, but then you dont' care. You just know that, they aren't there for you, they never were. But finally, one day, you'll realise that, it wasn't their fault. It was your own. You didn't let them care.

i wish you let me love you.

Thu, 24 May 2007 12:58:58 GMT

Today, was really amusing. So much stuff happened.

To summarise it all up first,
1.Percussionists v.s Trumpeters. 10++ to 3. xD
2.Funny thing that Eunice said. Lawl.
3.Got new pieces [again!]
4.INVESTITURE.
5.American Idol is weird, i swear.

To elaborate it a lot more,
1. Today we had bonding within the section games, a.k.a CAPTAIN'S BALL. Section v.s Section. We played against the TRUMPETERS. I love playing against the trumpeters, although the next time i play against them, i shall prepare some thick and good earplugs. The trumpeters are mad .They scream for absolutely NO REASON AT ALL. Madness. And there's a CERTAIN trumpeter who seems to like screaming at various pitches for no reason other than trying to deafen other people. And there were CERTAIN percussionists who BETRAYED the percussion section, namely CELESTE and DORALINE. Hmmmm. Tsktsktsk. Oh well. Overall it was really fun. Damn amusing. Everyone was laughing, screaming, yelling, shrieking, running, whacking balls, catching balls, cursing and gawd knows what else. Hahaha. Overall, i think that all the sections managed to bond quite a bit. We're all closer than before, especially the group that went to Hawaii. Which is like, really cool because then we all can play better together. Aye?

2. After band i was STARVING, literally. So me and Eunice hopped over to Bedok interchange. Then we suddenly forgot where in the whole of Bedok was freaking KFC, so we were stoning there for a while, then Eunice said: "KFC over there! [points]." So we walked a few minutes towards that direction. Then i suddenly realised that we were walking the WRONG way, so i said: "Isn't KFC over THERE?! [points in opposite direction]." Then eunice stared at me, and went: "EEEEE??? [thoughtful look]." The way she said "EEEEEE" was SO funny I swear, i burst out laughing and i couldn't stop until we reached KFC, and by the time we reached KFC, i was still giggling. And i was imitating Eunice just to irritate her for the fun of it. So funny. If you want to hear what she said, you can come find me. I'll be glad to give you the imitation. Hahahahahaha. Super amusing. Just thinking of it makes me laugh my head off. Not literally though.

3.Sigh. Once again, a few new pieces. Thankfully, we haven't gotten all yet. We only got the Phantom Of The Opera one. Good song, i think we're going to have a lot of fun just playing it. Although sadly, there's only a few parts to be played. So, we all split, and as usual, i guess there's going to be people who aren't going to be playing for the song again, unless Mr juraimi can somehow amazingly conjure up some parts for the section to play that doesn't have a score and stuff. He's interestingly good at doing that sort of thing. I wonder how come. Oh well guess it's just part of the experience that one has after such a long time. Hmm. I want that kind of experience it must be like super cool to be able to do that type of stuffs. Okay other than the fact that it's gotta be really extremely stressing, because everyone's looking up to you, literally.

4.Investiture was, to sum it up, WEIRD. I have no idea why the hell they need us to play fanfare 2000 for them just to walk up and walk down. It's kinda like a waste of time, to me that is. And then, some people tell us that we play absolutely fantastic, while others say that we played wrong, and others tell us that we played too soft, and so on and so forth. Well, to me, at least we played properly as compared to the rehearsals. We were like absolute crap during the rehearsals because of all the last-minute unknown cues. Ah wells, at least all went well. Congratulations to all that got invested, and congratulations to the Executive Council 2007, especially to the new head girl, Nicolette, and the new vice-head girl, Genevive. We're all sure that you'll both do a great job leading the school through for the rest of the year. We're all looking forward to it.

5. American Idol is interesting. They're giving all the weird rewards for gawd knows what reasons. Oh well i guess it's kinda cool in a way, because the people who didn't get to enter the American Idol contest thingy, get to get rewards for all the weird reasons. Oh wells i guess it's just them trying to amuse everyone with all the rewards and music and everything else. It's kinda really great of them to think of this type of stuffs, even though it's just to prolong the show for god knows what reasons, but still. Really cool.

I just realised that 1. this post is really looooooong and 2. i've never posted pictures here before. Oh well it's okay i'll post a barrage of photos another time. Right now, i'm currently absolutely EXHUASTED, so i'm gonna turn in early. Maybe i'll go out tomorow. Before i have to go with my dear mother and collect my results, in which i am so absolutely screwed. I don't want to see my mom's expression when she sees that i've basically failed everything. Oh man. I'm so dead. I think i'm gonna be grounded to study for like, eternity. Or maybe until when i'm at least about 90. Something along that lines. And my dad's gonna kill me. His maths scores damn high, and here i am, getting 1 digit marks for my a maths and not faring that well off for my e maths. Maybe i should switch to accounts. i think that's easier. Maybe. Just maybe.

You don't know just how much i love you.

Wed, 23 May 2007 11:24:02 GMT

BAND IS LOVE.

I just had to say that. (:

Tue, 22 May 2007 11:21:53 GMT

Hmm. A few more days to doomsday, otherwise known as results day. Fantastic. And the day before that, what am i doing? Playing for investiture. Oh wells. i don't really mind playing for investiture, although i don't see the point of us being there so so early. It's just a pure waste of time i swear. Sigh.

Watched pleasantville today. It's funny like shit. You guys should watch too. It's super amusing. A bit sick though. But still, really amusing. We wanted to continue watching it during PC lesson today, but sadly, i guess we couldn't do that. Ah wells I guess we'll be unable to continue watching the show unless we borrow it or something.

iloveyou.

Mon, 21 May 2007 14:07:03 GMT

This is just another song's lyrics. It's by linkin park, and i just found it really nice. (:

I dedicate this song to all the people out there who just happen to be emo right now, like me.

"Leave Out All The Rest"

I dreamed I was missing
You were so scared
But no one would listen
Cause no one else cared

After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving
When I'm done here

So if you're asking me
I want you to know

[Chorus]
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

And don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest
[End Chorus]

Don't be afraid
I've taking my beating
I've shared what I've been

I'm strong on the surface
Not all the way through
I've never been perfect
But neither have you

So if you're asking me
I want you to know

[Chorus]
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that ive done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest
[End Chorus]

Forgetting
All the hurt inside
You've learned to hide so well

Pretending
Someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are

[Chorus]
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that ive done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

Forgetting
All the hurt inside
You've learned to hide so well

Pretending
Someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are
I can't be who you are

Sun, 20 May 2007 15:32:44 GMT

PERCUSSIONISTS HAVE TASTEBUDS PROBLEMS!!!

Hahaha. That's what I've concluded after i heard about the "cake disaster" today. Apparently, they made the cake, and OBVIOUSLY, it turned out too sweet. Because of the overload of SUGAR. Tsk. Oh wells nothing much we can do except hope for the best aye. Oh well.

Not much of a post today, other than the fact that I LOVE TAMPINES IKEA! Yay. I bought this metal boxes [set of 3] and this small miniature dustbin look-a-like [set of 2]. So cute i tell you. Ah ha. i used the BIGGEST metal box for my PENCILBOX and my SMALLEST metal box as my LUNCHBOX! Yay. And i used my smallest dustbin look-a-like as my container for my eraser and stuff. Haven't found a use for my MEDIUM metal box and my biggest dustbin look-a-like yet though.

i'll be waiting for you.

Sat, 19 May 2007 05:44:08 GMT

I'm addicted to all weird forms of music right now. Oh my goodness. But one song i'll NEVER be addicted to is Mas Que Nada. No offence to everyone, but the song's just WAY too weird for my liking. Okay so maybe i'm listening to it occasionally, but i won't like it, like really. It's just too.. SPANISHY. My imeem playlist on the other hand, has some SWEET music. Really fabulous. Go there if you want to check my weird music taste. xD you'll be kinda surprised to see the combination of music i guess. But i just find it really fab.

Should i start on a random topic today? Yeah maybe i should. Maybe a emo topic for me, like relationships. Yeah.

Currently, everywhere around me, there's people IN relationships, OUT of relationships, WANTS a relationship, REGRETS being in a relationship, HATES relationships, STARTING relationships, ENDING relationships, so on and so forth. Me, i'm in the WANTS section. Like the guy, the guy doesn't like me, then i'm over with liking him, secretly still wanting him to like me. That kind of wants. Yeah. Just part of my daily life. I don't know, but to me, once you've been in a long-term relationship, you'll find it hard to be single once you've gotten over and done with with the guy/girl. It's like, there's no one there for you, no one special in your life.

Wells, after such a long time of staying single, i guess i've become accustomed to it. At least, it doesn't hurt that much anymore. But it still hurts, sometimes. A good relationship, gone just like that. Within seconds, it's all over, just with a message, call, a few words, whatever. Kind of wasted, come to think of it. Guess it's gone, nothing much i can do to salvage it, that kind of thing. But i still miss you.

Then again, after a while, i'm starting not to see the point of relationships, you know? I mean, so WHAT if there's someone there for you 24/7? if he/she just doesn't pick up your call or reply your message like they usually do, then you'l start worrying your head off. You can't study because you're worrying too much about your relationship, then you become this insecure freak and all, and you'll be more depressed and start thinking that he/she doesn't like you anymore. So what's the point of relationships if it's just going to bring this type of depressing thoughts and all? Kind of wasted don't you think? There's just no TRUST and all that.

I don't know. Most people find relationships a blessing, a minority find it a curse.

istillloveyou.

Fri, 18 May 2007 12:02:56 GMT

Band = FUNNY.

Laughed my head off today, which is a good thing, or i might have just come home and go in search of my penknife, which i can't seem to find. Ah wells. I can't do much can i. Guess the penknife's gonna stay at whereever it is, since i can't find it. Then again, i don't really have much of a use for it, or do i?

Sigh. Someone's not talking to me just because i said i wanted to find my penknife. Hmmm. Oh wait. I was talking about being really depressed just before that. Then i suddenly wanted to find my penknife. Oooops. Guess i forgot to tell him that the penknife was supposed to be used to cut my bandage things. Ah wells. Guess he's not going to talk to me anytime soon. Sigh. Thanks for the bottle anyway. Interesting way for me to get over my depression for a while.

Anyways, POTC was damn funny. Percussion tried to play it, then AH PA[jaslynn] was playing crash. So when ah girl[juli] played "ta ka ta", then
ah pa was supposed to play "CHANG!". So it was supposed to be "ta ka ta CHANG!" ; but "FABULOUS" ah pa, ah girls[vaness and oli] and me had to make into "ta ka ta *SHIVER* CHANG!" Lol. xD

I screwed up my MQN today. Sigh.

I failed Lit, passed English. Oh well. Die-ded.

i guess i wanna say sorry if i worried you.

Thu, 17 May 2007 16:00:57 GMT

Grades.
SYF.
Blooody contract.
Last year.
This year.

My life's a offical screw-up.
No wonder my mom hates me.
No wonder my friends ~~want~~ to talk to me.

Anything else, add to my list of emoness.

Maybe i should go find my darling penknife now.

Thu, 17 May 2007 11:58:08 GMT

Oh wells. I'm dead. Fabulously dead. I failed just about, every single paper. Dang it.

Results.
English-unknown.
Chinese-F9
Emaths-F9
Amaths-F9
Science[Chemistry]-E8
Science[Physics]-E8
Literature-unknown.
Social Studies-C6
History-D7

DIE.

Wed, 16 May 2007 13:15:40 GMT

Well well well. I'm offically screwed i guess. Only two people in my class passed Amaths, or so i heard. Ah wells tomorrow we get our papers back anyway, so... Not much of a difference aye.

SPIDERMAN 3 IS COOL! Yeah like seriously. After school went down to Bedok interchange to meet mitchell keh. FINALLY GOT MY NIKE BOTTLE!!! XD hurrah. And my movie + popcorn + drink got paid for too. Yeah i have a nice older brother [or is it sister]. Ah wells. At least i didn't have to pay for anything much today. Yay me. Although only disadvantage is that i have to pay for everything for the next movie which is shrekthethird. Never mind it's a nice show anyway.

Oh well. I'm stressed. Yay.

iloveyou.

Tue, 15 May 2007 09:17:35 GMT

EMPTY PROMISES

Mon, 14 May 2007 23:34:38 GMT

Ho ho ho. It's raining. Fantastic. It's early in the morning and it's RAINING. How fabulous can it get. And we WERE supposed to go swimming too. Oh wells guess it's no swimming and a lot of window shopping for me. Seeing that Lynette and Eunice are gonna be around, i don't see how i'm gonna escape the window shopping part. I shall resign myself to the fact then. Tsk.

Oh wells, to say the least, my exams are officially SCREWED. Seriously. I'm so dead for them. The teachers that came in yesterday all told us that a majority failed the papers and all, so what's the point of thinking that i'm in the minority that passed and end up finding out that i'm in the majority that failed? Okay so maybe i'm being pessimistic here, but then what's the point of hoping? I mean, i'll pray for it, but what's done is done, what's marked is marked. I can't change that already.

The rain today is so NOT helping my mood in any way. Hm. Maybe i should go through a "emo period". Seems to be quite effective for people who have big fat-ass problems with themselves and the whole world surrounding them.Emo is hot anyways. And i'm feeling quite emo now. Don't be surprised if i'm emo during the June holidays. It's just the emo period. It might stop at don't know when. Just a word of caution. (:

iloveyou,ireallydo.